Thank you to everyone who responded to my plea of desperation. I found everyone’s thoughts very encouraging and helpful.
Of course, I’m still not sure where to go. But that’s okay. I have peace about it all right now because I have been feeling God’s leading in the past few months. He is being kind of mysterious with this one though, as though he gives me little glimpses but there is still a surprise coming. I feel like he’s taking me somewhere, and I don’t know where. I don’t know anything but get prepared.
You’d think it would be hard to get prepared if you don’t know where you’re going. Do I take a swimsuit or a parka? But when God is directing it doesn’t matter. I don’t think too much about what part of the bible I ought to be reading right now or what I should be praying for. The Spirit knows and guides me.
I got a little goosebumpy, spaghetti-legged after typing that last sentence. It is amazing that if we believe in Jesus, the Counselor comes to guide us. In the first few months of me starting to go to church at Glen Elm I heard someone up at the front talking about the Holy Spirit. And if you believe in Jesus, the Spirit lives in you. I started thinking about having God’s Spirit inside of me, running through my veins, literally moving my limbs and guiding me in the way to go. I felt so happy thinking about that, not having to make any decisions, just letting God take me wherever he is going. I went right up to Ray afterward and told him that I wanted to be baptized. I needed that Holy Spirit in me.
I’ve been reading Ephesians lately and man oh man. Total mind blow. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t read it before. But in a way, it is. I am trying to read it with new eyes. I am disregarding any familiarity. And wow. It is alive. There are tons of blessings that we have if we believe in Christ. I made a big list. Then I asked myself “What does this mean for my life?” And all I could think to do to answer that was to put “I am” or “I have” in front of the blessings. And here are some of them from Chapters 1-3. I suggest reading them out loud.
I have every spiritual blessing.
I am chosen.
I am holy.
I am blameless.
I am adopted.
I am forgiven.
I am redeemed.
I have God’s revelation.
I have hope.
I am accepted.
I have the Holy Spirit living in me.
I have an inheritance.
I have faith.
I am called.
I have power.
I have mighty strength.
I am in his fullness.
I am alive.
I have been raised from the dead.
I have eternal life.
I have the riches of grace.
I have been created for good works.
I have peace.
I have access to the Father.
I am a citizen with God’s people.
I rise as a holy temple with God’s people.
I am a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.
I am a sharer in the promise.
I am able to approach God with freedom and confidence.
I have to say that some of those are hard for me to say. Hard for me to believe. I can’t say them with confidence. But that doesn’t make them any less true. It’s my own hang-ups that make me feel twisty while saying those things. God is God regardless and he has fulfilled his promises, whether we believe it or not. Amazing.
So anyway, that’s that and that’s where I am and I have a suggestion for a grid blog, even if John and I are the only ones that write anymore: The Key to Happiness.