Something Seemingly Small
God whispered it in my heart one day to start this blog. I wanted to record my journey, I have always done this. I have journals dating back to my girlhood days. I want to remember.
I also wanted to write to encourage. I want to encourage others, but also myself.
I have a few subscribers out there and I am so thankful for you. I honestly thank God for you. I also thank God for those who read and don’t subscribe; I know you are out there too. I appreciate that you take the time to read what I have to say. I’m not anyone.
So it seems to be with God, he will use little things to show us a bigger plan that He has for us. I have been fighting him for years about something. Wrestling. Shaking. Stomping my foot and saying NO. Even now, I feel it in my chest, I do not want to do what I feel Him calling me to.
The Wrestling Match
Sometimes it is easy to say yes. Sometimes it feels really good. But right now, God is calling me to spill out all the words I have in me, or words that He has and will place within me. He wants me to tell His story. He wants me to let everyone know exactly what He has done in my life. It doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me feel tiny, frail, and weak.
I have done this before. I have bared everything in front of a couple of congregations, or a couple of classes. But writing it is different. Writing His story means that it is available at any time for anyone to read. This scares me. He’s calling me to tell His story in a way that is permanent, in a way that forces me to be honest with everyone. Including family. Including friends. It could change the way people think about me. It could change everything.
Is He Calling Me?
I listened to the song “There Is A Stirring” today. I saw myself wearing a crown and refusing to lay it at his feet. It was small but very powerful. I am scared to lay this crown down, scared of what people will think of me. I heard Him whisper in my heart that His promise will be so much greater than that crown upon my head. If I make myself nothing for Him, what I would receive in return would be much greater. This made my heart pound.
God used this little blog to open me up to writing, and now I can no longer deny that He is calling me to something way bigger than I expected. I am scared, but I know that He is glorified the greatest in our weakness.
I will rise up and bow down. I will lay my crown at His wounded feet.
There Is A Stirring (Click to listen!)