To my baby, on the eve before the ultrasound.

Sweet little baby of mine, you are still so mysterious to me in many ways. At this point, we do not even know if you are a boy or a girl. It is strange for me to think back to the days when Eva or Ezra were in my tummy, the days when I did not know them like I do now. I do not know you yet, little one, do not know if you are a boy or a girl, what you will look like, how you will be, but I do know that I love you already and I will love you forever.

Tomorrow we will see you on the screen, see you wiggling and moving, hopefully see whether you are a girl or a boy, and most importantly, hopefully see that you are healthy and growing strong. We will know you a little better after our appointment tomorrow, a little bit of the mystery made clear.

I can’t believe that you and I are already halfway through this pregnancy. How did that happen? You hold a record, wee one, of being the only baby to make me throw up more than once during the pregnancy (three times, actually) and I believe my morning sickness has lasted the longest with you as well. I am way past all of that now and glad to be feeling much better.

I have been trying to eat super healthy and avoid most grains and all refined sugars to keep my blood sugar levels low and hopefully make you a little smaller. I didn’t do so well in the last two weeks, since I was away from home, but I have 20 more weeks to make up for it, right? Not 21 and definitely not 22 weeks, you hear me? Okay maybe 21 would be okay. Maybe. And please be small and make all this mega healthy eating worth it, I’m not asking for much, just around 8lbs would be enough for me. I won’t even get mad if you are 9lbs. 10lbs or over though, and my feelings (and other parts) may be hurt. You seem pretty small already, since I am the smaller than I was with your brother and sister. I’m 20 weeks and I’m still rocking my normal jeans and other clothes, so that’s gotta be a good sign.

Your sister really wants you to be a girl so she can name you Cinderella. Another name she suggested was Rapunzel Ariel. She kind of has a Disney princess theme going on. I guess we will find out tomorrow if her dream will come true (of you being a girl, I don’t think we quite agree on names.)

Anyway, little one who is kicking me like crazy right now, I just wanted to write to you and let you know all about yourself as a fetus. I love you and I am excited to meet you.

Love, Mama


You, the last time we saw you.


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