Sometimes it’s just too much to bear. Sometimes, this motherhood thing just feels like it’s all uphill and I just can’t take another step. Sometimes, I don’t know what to do, how to respond, what is right.
Sometimes, I just ache. I fall down on my knees, I want to give up, to run away, to let someone else handle it because I just can’t do it.
Sometimes it’s just too much to bear. Sometimes, my heart is so full it is exploding out of my chest. Sometimes, I look at my children and tears fall from my eyes, I just can’t help it.
Sometimes, I just ache. I fall down on my knees and pull my children close to me. I never want to leave that moment, I never want to be away from them, I never want to do anything else but just be their mom.
I experienced both today. Toddler tantrums from Ezra, and then Eva brought me these sweet little notes. She told me how she loves me and she just wants to be with me always.
(After the timer: She wants to be a gardener when she grows up, and live in Estonia, and I can be a gardener and live with her there. I absolutely love these little notes she gave me, how she sounded out every word and wrote it herself. Later in the day, we were watching Toy Story 3 and at the very end after Andy gives all his toys away and drives off to college, Eva said: “this music is just so sad, it’s making me want to cry!” I looked at her and she was crying. I pulled her close to me and hugged her and she choked on her tears, and she said, “The music is just so sad, and when I grow up I don’t ever want to be away from you!”)
I’m linking up at The Gypsy Mama.